Transportation, Tubing, and Margaritas

Yes, I'm alive!

Thursday, August 31, 2006

Whoda Thunk...Kite Tubing!!!


Okay, so I admit I was a little sad when I actually found out what Kite Tubing is...

It is not, as I thought, like kite-boarding where the tube would be dragged along the water (an ocean, maybe?)propelled by the wind in a kite that was either attached to the tube or the tuber....

Instead, the tube itself is an airfoil that picks you up when dragged by a boat. Last time I checked, speed boats are not quite as sustainable a form of transportation as river tubing (although I do enjoy wake boarding...hmmm).

It has also caused several deaths and has actually be withdrawn from the market. Although I'm sure people have died tubing through white water as well...

Wednesday, August 30, 2006

So Popular....


According to a survey just released by the U.S. Census, D.C has the second longest commute in the nation at an average of 33 minutes (yay NYC for being crowned "most popular").

In all faireness, SF is also super popular - it boasts a higher transit share, making its commute time slightly less than D.C.'s...yadda yadda yadda. So let me rephrase by saying that our asphalt is the [second] most popular?

Some crazy things the survey found:
-> Over HALF of DC area commuters work outside their county of residence

-> DC Transit ridership has gone UP reversing a downward trend during the rich, cheap gas 90's. Alan Pisarski (a long time commute commentator) postulates that employer transit subsidies for employers who ALREADY OFFER PARKING SUBSIDIES has helped transit ridership??? I guess........

-> Residents of DC have an average commute of 29 minutes, still well above the national average of 25 minutes...so does that mean that all that new housing in DC is only attracting people who reverse-commute to work in the Dulles corridor? The district is only a few square miles...it doesn't take long to get ANYWHERE.

-> Loudon County's current transit share is 2%. I wonder what is is predicted to be with metrorail?

Wednesday, August 16, 2006

Texas! Tubing! Fun! Adventure!


So Slice informed me today that the city of New Braunfels is trying to outlaw Jell-O shots on the river by outlawing containers less than 5oz that contain alcohol. I can't say I have been one for Jell-O shots since the waning days of college (too many adventures in barfing) but I do enjoy creating them. What I love even more is the people who go "the extra mile" in tubing drink offerings and packaging. If they go through the effort then by all means let them go...I'll always be along to pick up the plastic later.

In all seriousness...it is probably a good idea. Jello shots should really be at least 6 oz anyways.

On the the ADVENTURE part of the post. Slice has been doing some tubing Adventure! research and came across this. So the article content (how could tubing strippers not be funny...I accidentally strip when I tube all the time - damn bowties) was pretty entertaining in itself considering that no stripping really took place, but what I really enjoyed were the various commments that readers had made at the end such as this one by "da truuf":


One day, common sense and reason will rule and the religious zealouts will be history… It’s already happening…No more fear and persecution at the hands of the ignorant..Science will rule as it should..Gimmee back my freedom… There’s nothing wrong with the human body…There’s something wrong with taking the life of a human in the name of religion like you guys are doing all over the world.. Quit complaining about boobs and clean up your own morals first…


and...

...most of these tubers are mostly tourist who are only there for a few days and they disrespect the locals by make life miserable for the people who live by the river with their loudness at all hours, by leaving their trash and by urinating in their yards.


pfttt..yards??? Those must be the respectful ones...try the river of pee! If you don't want to live on the river where crazy graduate students run up and down your stairs and take trash then I'll trade with you!

and...

Simple solution: Outlaw alcohol on the river. People said it would ruin Galveston tourism when they did it. Guess what? It didn’t happen!! Galveston tourism is booming.


"BOOMING" ay? How many people visit the plastic rainforest now? I guess if it increases from 2 people to 4 people per year that are required to drive straight through there and park for their cruise ship then that would be a huge percent increase but...yeah..um...I think that speaks for itself mostly.

Or maybe the stripper article was used as a distraction for the problems that our country was having keepin' da peace over on the other side of the world?

Strippers are evil doers. Of course, nothing wrong with checking out the hot little high school girls wearing a set of strings purchased from Target stores. It amazes me—-Lebanese children are blown to bits this morning and the newspapers reports extensively about off duty strippers.


Ima Stripper finally got it right:
So let me get this straight: a bunch of strippers went floatin’; no one drowned, they kept their clothes on (like most other people, us strippers aren’t itchin’ to work outside the workplace, especially if you’re not compensated) it was hot out, and jello shots are going to be banned on the river… why is this news????

Tuesday, August 15, 2006

Suburbs hit oil slick

This MSN Real Estate Article talks about how suburbs aren't so valuable any more, people are choosing to live in location efficient areas, yadda yadda yadda.....the bigger piece of information that I got from this was Who knew that the MSN real estate channel wrote such long articles? Wow!

Ok, so I guess I am glad that this idea is catching on...it just worries me that the only people getting the picture are rich people reading the MSN real estate channel and they will find a way to coerce all the poor people into suburbs.

Now for rambling....does the word "Sub-urbia" make anybody else thinsk "Underground-City"?? Makes me want to see the Ben Folds Five song "we will all be happy undergrouuuuund"

Monday, August 14, 2006

Test Tube

It is time to go to Texas for my favorite form of transportation : Tubing. Unfortunately the City of San Antonio wants to make things difficult by insisting that they have running water. If only people and their lawns would drink Perrier then the only people we would be leaving out of the tubing equation would be the french! That is a much bigger punishment from the Republic of Texas than renaming their potatoes. Alas SanAn has selfishly witheld almost all but a few drops of tubing water into the Guadalupe and I have a dozen friends who are kind of sad about the whole thing. This just goes to show that all forms of transportation - including tubing - are affected by climate change. While some areas of the world will be forced to use tubes due to crazy flooding, others will be left high and dry and can't use tubes at all if they want to make any progress. I guess this just brings me to the point that we either need to:
A. Be flexible and have many forms of tubing transport that can use Perrier , Texas Water, rum, or even Lonestar Light All of these forms can be made energy-positive for SURE if we put enough millenia of research into them. I shall name this: The Brazillian Ford Plan
B. Make bigger tubes that need more water - if you build them, it will come - This can be called the Bush Plan
C. Synthesize more water using electricity from coal and natural gas plants ...think about how to popularize nuclear
D. Invest in a good pair of tennis shoes (and maybe a camelpack) because dry riverbeds make for good clear places to walk
E. Start spitting and peeing in the river and hope that it gets filled up that way
F. Pave the riverbed so that we can all switch modes to street luge
G. Cut down all those damn trees - they must be the ones stealing the water
H. Wait for the city of San Antonio to self-combust - like stars that get too big they wont need my water then
I. Invest in Chinese cloud-seeding technology to make central texas wet
J. Stay home and whine
K. Buy a hot air balloon
L. Plan a bake sale to save the river
M. Move to Canada
N. Build more roads to put the old water tubing innertubes to good use on our safe and efficient U.S. built vehicles that run on the laughter of children

Tuesday, August 01, 2006

Gnome: 1, Bruce: 0

That's right kidds, after a show of hands by a likely quite-biased audience, the Gnome has defeated the mighty ex-mayor.

Yes, I attended. Yes, I biked there (all 15 round-trip miles of it). Yes, I wore my helmet. And, yes, I sat in the very front row so you can rest assured that every thing I'm going to tell you is purely factual.

Though, my point here is not to argue either way, but to relate how well each side presented their arguments, what I felt their key arguments were, and how the audience reacted. There are others who can lead you if you're curious about the logic of this ordeal. Of course, this is all my perspective, but what you said or meant isn't nearly as important as what I, an audience member, heard, now is it?

Oh, and Dionysium is awesome. Go. Learn, laugh, and drink beer.

Continuing the structure of the forum, the affirmative, the Mighty ex-Mayor goes first. I felt his major arguments were:
  • Helmets are like safety belts, and we all agree that "Click it or Ticket" is a fine policy. [There are those who disagree with the first part of that statement.]
  • Bike accidents cost society the big bucks in medical expenses.
He did little to rebut the Gnome's claims. The opening arguments, the rebuttal, and the closing said basically the same thing. I don't personally feel that he identified his goal and the most efficient means to accomplish it very well. Think Big Picture, ex-Mayor! Other than a few statistics, he did not argue that helmets were actually protecting us from anything other than bleached hair (ok, he didn't argue that either).

And I felt he had the easiest argument: something on my head is better than nothing if I fall on it. But other than pulling a few heart-strings and sounding calm and politician-y, it was rather weak.

Mr. Gnome, on the other hand, was fighting in the negative. Going against instinct on one had and dealing with the negative connotation of his "negative" position.
  • If the goal is to improve cycling safety, helmets are so much less effective than other measures.
    • Example: require a one-day training class for youngsters/adults where they learn bike safety principles.
    • Besides: in the past 3 years, there have been no citations for violating the under 18 helmet law currently in effect. All bark, no bite isn't effective. [A law wouldn't likely change my helmet-wearing behavior.]
    • And: Of the 13 cycling fatalities in Austin in the past 2, 3? years, all were collisions with cars. Some were wearing helmets, some weren't. [I thought it intriguing that the email Gnome sent me yesterday said "all save one" and on stage that reduced to "all." Convenient, eh?]
  • I am mathematician, statistics are easily manipulated. My statistics (large-scale) are better than his (too detailed and more susceptible to other factors). I know, I'm mathematician. [I don't know Mr. Gnome, I don't know.]
  • Helmets are designed to be safe for speeds less than 14 mph, on flat surfaces. They are more effective for youngsters since they're lighter. Most adults cycle at faster speeds and if they get hit by a car, they speed will for sure be higher.
I thought Mr. Gnome's argument was pretty solid without mention of these next two theories:
  • Personal liberties [It just seemed like a cop-out and implied, to me, that the original argument wouldn't stand by itself. I don't think the audience had the same objection. They cheered. Spakalina just thinks we're more critical than the general public.]
  • You're more likely to get a head injury while wearing a helmet since, subconsciously, your body is aware that it's "protected" and won't maneuver to land on something else. [The first time I heard this, I launched a major objection. Now I just roll my eyes. It's interesting, but provable? It's just sketchy. But, again, the audience seemed more, "Huh, never considered that," than "What a nutcase!"]
And that's as much clarity as I have tonight.

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