Test Tube

It is time to go to Texas for my favorite form of transportation : Tubing. Unfortunately the City of San Antonio wants to make things difficult by insisting that they have running water. If only people and their lawns would drink Perrier then the only people we would be leaving out of the tubing equation would be the french! That is a much bigger punishment from the Republic of Texas than renaming their potatoes. Alas SanAn has selfishly witheld almost all but a few drops of tubing water into the Guadalupe and I have a dozen friends who are kind of sad about the whole thing. This just goes to show that all forms of transportation - including tubing - are affected by climate change. While some areas of the world will be forced to use tubes due to crazy flooding, others will be left high and dry and can't use tubes at all if they want to make any progress. I guess this just brings me to the point that we either need to:
A. Be flexible and have many forms of tubing transport that can use Perrier , Texas Water, rum, or even Lonestar Light All of these forms can be made energy-positive for SURE if we put enough millenia of research into them. I shall name this: The Brazillian Ford Plan
B. Make bigger tubes that need more water - if you build them, it will come - This can be called the Bush Plan
C. Synthesize more water using electricity from coal and natural gas plants ...think about how to popularize nuclear
D. Invest in a good pair of tennis shoes (and maybe a camelpack) because dry riverbeds make for good clear places to walk
E. Start spitting and peeing in the river and hope that it gets filled up that way
F. Pave the riverbed so that we can all switch modes to street luge
G. Cut down all those damn trees - they must be the ones stealing the water
H. Wait for the city of San Antonio to self-combust - like stars that get too big they wont need my water then
I. Invest in Chinese cloud-seeding technology to make central texas wet
J. Stay home and whine
K. Buy a hot air balloon
L. Plan a bake sale to save the river
M. Move to Canada
N. Build more roads to put the old water tubing innertubes to good use on our safe and efficient U.S. built vehicles that run on the laughter of children